Life, and Marriage

I took a more definite positive pregnancy test today and things we're looking up. I was super stoked to see the little blue line but he didn't seem as excited as I expected him to be.

He's worried that I'm going to use this against him and use it to pressure him into something. He's excited about the baby it's self but I guess he's just worried. I'm at the point that I don't know what more to do to show him he can trust me. I really don't ever want to do anything to hurt him. I don't think I could even if I did want to.

We talked a bit about contract marriage today and made a list of things that would go with it. He doesn't think I can really do it but I can. If he stays to his part then I know I can stay to mine. I know to some people the idea of a contract marriage doesn't sound too appealing but for me it works.

It provides me with the security I want, and gives my child an unbroken home. It also allows me to have more children with him, and I know how wonderful of a father he will be.

This may all sound crazy to most people but maybe someone out there understands what I'm talking about. 

First Truth

This is what the first slip in my box said:

I won't normally post anything more then the image but since it was the first one I went ahead and explained a little bit. 

Box of Truths

So I've had this little floral box since I was a Junior in high school and it's filled with little pink slips of paper. On these slips of paper I would write things on them that I felt I either needed to be honest with myself about or things that I didn't want to forget.

When I moved states to be with my boyfriend last month I found this little box among my stuff and I'm sure you could guess I kinda got a kick out of some of the things that I found worthy of writing in the box, but some of them we're wiser and more grown up sounding then I remember being at that age.

After reading through the box I decided that I wanted to share the bits and pieces of my life and small amounts of wisdom that I seemed to posses at that age. So I'll probably start posting them one at a time in order. maybe just for laughs at how naive I was, or maybe it'll genuinely help me or someone else. 

First post

I feel like it doesn't matter what kind of blog you're about to start, then first post is the hardest. You sit there and you think to yourself:

What do I say?

How do I introduce my blog?

Do I just dive in to the subject?

And then I realized. Who cares? Honestly how many people are even going to see my first post? But either way I pretty much just decided to explain what my blog is and why it exists.

Everyone's life is full of odd twist and turns and unexpected events. Mine is no exception to that rule. We all make choices in our life that we regret or go through situations that can really change us. But it always helps to have someone there for you or some neutral party give you advice. That's something I needed when I went through my last big change: Someone who had gone through my situation and knew how to help.

I never had that luck, but here the last few weeks I decided that just because I didn't have someone doesn't mean that it has to happen to someone else. So this blog is not just a place for me to let things out for myself, but if I help just one person get through their day a little easier then I've accomplished my goal.